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Thursday, October 28, 2010

To Be Continued...

Monday morning I was a nervous wreck.  I had a custody hearing at 9am and, although I knew my case was strong, the uncertainty was driving me insane. 

You can read about my story here.  It has been a very difficult and confusing time for my family.

We only had time to address the issue with Faith.  The judge removed all of his overnight and weekend visits with her and is allowing him one day per week for dinner.  This is a huge relief because she has been going through a lot of emotional abuse from him.  He has called her fat and ugly.  Him and his girlfriend punish her for lying when she is telling the truth.  They try to force her to answer questions with what they want to hear and if she doesn't tell them what they want to hear she has to stay in her room all day/night.  She has been very upset about going with him.  The judge told him he was confusing her and not doing what is in her best interests. 

Unfortunately, Rockland still has to go with him because we did not have time to address both issues in the time we were given.  We go back to court in mid Dec. and I am hopeful that can be resolved as well.  He has put these kids through so much. 

For now I am happy to have the small victory.  I am continuing to pray that the judge/courts will see through him and do what is best for the kids.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Proud Mommy

This was posted over at Band Back Together. But since I have been an emotion wreck lately (what with my custody court date coming up and all).  I haven't had it together enough to post about the happenings at home.

In my previous post, What If I talked about the emotional abuse my children are going through.

I constantly fear that they will carry these scars with them.  But I don’t think I have ever been more proud of my daughter than I was yesterday.

I got out of work two hours early, so I called my daughter to tell her that after her homework, we could go to the playground. She was so excited. I told her to get her school books ready and she said “Mom, I am playing right now and I REAAALLY want to finish this.”

I asked her what she was playing.  She told me she was pretending to be a counselor. She’d gone to summer camp and the older kids volunteer as camp counselors. I figured that was what she meant.

So I asked, “What kind of counselor? Are you starting a camp?”

She said, “no Mommy, I am being a counselor who talks to people. That’s what I want to do when I grow up.  I want to talk to kids like me so I can help them.”

It brought tears to my eyes. It made me sad that she acknowledges the scars she is going to carry but it also made me so proud that, instead of feeling sorry for herself, she wants to use her experiences to help others. At six years old, she is already thinking about how to help others instead of dwelling on her own problems.
Most kids her age play house, doctor, and teacher. She is thinking about how she can use the small amount of experiences she has had in her short life to help other people.

I am so proud of her. At age six, she is such a smart, kind, and compassionate person and I truly believe she WILL help many people in her lifetime.  I am so thankful that she is learning how to help people rather that assume that abuse is okay.

I have always loved the song In My Daughter’s Eyes, but yesterday I could hear the lyrics over and over again in my head: “I see who I want to be in my daughter’s eyes.”

I only wish I could be as strong, caring and compassionate as she is.

Monday, October 4, 2010

And it spread like wildfire!

What a weekend!  I am almost happy to be back in work.  I said ALMOST!

Last Wed night/Thurs morning Faith woke up and was throwing up non stop.  She went to the doctor Thurs and he said it was a small stomach virus.  No food or drink for 4 hours, then only Gatorade for 2 hours, then light foods.  If she got sick again, start over.  He said she needed to rest her stomach and give her body a chance to fight off the virus.

By Fri she was doing pretty well.  Fri evening we had dinner, watched some TV and played out back.  I got Rocky ready for bed and Faith was playing with her scrapbook kit.  Around 9:00 I settled down to watch CSI.  about 9:15 Rocky came downstairs and said he couldn't sleep.  He said his belly hurt.  Well for about 2 weeks now he has said his belly hurts every time he wants another snack. So, I started to tell him no more snacks because it is bed time. Before I could finish my sentence he was projectile vomiting all over me, the sofa, and the living room.  I rushed him into the kitchen and he started vomiting all over the kitchen as well.   Tim had walked next door to borrow formula from my grandparents because we ran out and didn't have a chance to go to the store since Faith had been sick the past few days.  I yelled for Faith to run next door and get Tim. 

When Tim walked in I was striping both Rocky and myself in the kitchen so I could get him to the tub without tracking puke all over the house.  As soon I got him in bathroom he started puking everywhere again.  I hosed him off with the shower and got him settled in the bath while I cleaned up the bathroom.  I put some clean pj's on him and got him back into bed (with a bucket on hand).  Before I finished tucking him in bed he puked all over himself and his sheets.  I got him back in the tub and striped his bed down.  I put on his third pair on pj's and took him back downstairs.

While I was taking care of Rocky, Tim threw all of the sofa covers, clothes and bedsheets in the wash and wiped everything down with Lysol.  We sent Faith to my grandparents and my parents offered to watch Gavin.  Rocky sat on the recliner and watched TV from about 11:30- 3am.  He threw up a few more times but I was able to get the bucket in time.  Around 3am he started to fall asleep so I moved him to the sofa.  He woke up gaging a few more times after that and finally fell asleep around 5am. 

I was in tears with him the whole night.  He was screaming and crying through the whole thing and yelling "my belly hurts make it stop."  I kept telling him "I wish Mommy could take it all away.  I wish I could feel it instead of you."  Yea, well be careful what you wish for!

He woke up around 8 am and and said "Mommy I feel all better.  My belly no hurts no more."  Not even 30 seconds later I was running to the bathroom to throw up.  I spent all of Sat curled up in my basement in pain.  I felt like I was being repeatedly stabbed in the stomach.  Tim cleaned the whole house and took care of me.  Sunday morning I felt much better.  But, like clock work, Tim started puking as soon as I stopped. 

Around 10am Sunday morning I got a call from my mom telling me my parents and grandparents were also throwing up.  Tim's mom picked up the baby (who, thank God, was not sick).  I spent all of Sunday cleaning the house again and re washing EVERYTHING, while taking care of Tim.  The whole time I was panicking about the baby.  What if he gets this? He is only 3 months old and would most likely have to go to the hospital for dehydration.  The worse was running through my head.  This thing was spreading like wildfire. 

I called and check on him this morning and he was still doing great.  He had eaten well at every feeding, slept through the night and didn't seem to have any problems with his bowels.  But, just in case, I called the doctor.  The doctor was pretty sure it was the stomach flu.  Apparently, the stomach flu or rota virus is the most common cause of vomiting among infants and small children. 

So, I immediately googled rota virus and it said that by age 5 nearly every child  in the world has been affected but rota virus at least once.  The symptoms are vomiting, diarrhoea, low grade fever and body aches.  In older children and adults the symptoms usually last for a few hours-about a day.  It's extremely contagious, and spreads easily through ordinary person-to-person contact.  Good hygiene and sanitation don't effectively stop rota virus disease.  This is exactly what everyone has been experiencing and why it has spread so quickly.  But, the doctor also explained to me that in 2009 pediatricians started giving infants the Rotateq vaccine at 2 months, 4 months and 6 months.  Gavin had the vaccine at his 2 months check up which, most likely prevented him from getting sick.  Since the rota virus vaccine was not given regularly until 2009, Faith and Rocky did not have it.  I will sleep much easier now, knowing Gavin will probably not catch this horrible virus!